talks

Life Together
by Margaret Malone sgs

International Benedictine scholar, Margaret Malone sgs gave this keynote talk at the Lenten Benedictine Conversations at Rosebank College, Sydney in February 2008, and also to the Australian Benedictine Union which met in Melbourne in late June. 

This title is taken from the title of a book by the German Lutheran theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who was killed in a concentration camp right at the end of World War 2. He saw the value of life together, and so too does Benedict. I chose this topic because I believe the wisdom of Benedict in this regard has an important message for every aspect of our lives today – family life, work life, politics, religious life, the church, the parish and everywhere where relationships are important.  And surely that is everywhere.

I was struck by a comment in The Australian (14th February 2008) the day after the apology in Parliament. The article picked up two small words – sorry and thanks and the comment was Little words with a big meaning.  I want to speak about two small words in the Rule of Benedict – little words with a big meaning.  They are the Latin words  Pariter - meaning together and Invicem - meaning one another. It is amazing what meaning a small word can convey. 

It is clear, as St Benedict himself says, that he is writing about community. After speaking of various kinds of monks in Chapter 1 – hermits who live alone, gyrovagues who roam around from place to place and sarabaites who live without a rule and do whatever they want – Benedict goes on to state that he is arranging a way of life for that most vigorous race, the cenobites, that is those who live in community (RB1.13). As I said, I believe that the idea of living and working together and of concern for one another as expressed in the two words I mentioned, can apply to all of us in our seeking of God in whatever way we live and work. So then I am sure that teasing out this ancient wisdom can be helpful for every one of us, not just those who live in religious life. And so in this paper I want to develop something of the implications for all of us, of this ancient wisdom of Benedict.

We all know that the way we use words and the particular words we choose, often express what we are thinking and the way we make connections. I want to begin with a reference to two scripture texts. Sister Aquinata Bockmann refers to the use of the word pariter in two famous passages in the Acts of the Apostles which have always been used to describe aspects of community. (Perspectives on the Rule  p 72) In both these passages the word pariter (together) is used in the Latin Vulgate. In fact this is the only time in Scripture where that is so. The first text is in the description of Pentecost. When the day of Pentecost had come they were all together in one place (Acts 2.1).  Then follows the description of the rushing wind, the tongues of fire, and the speaking in other languages, all of these signs of the coming of the Spirit at Pentecost. The effects of the coming of the Spirit may have been individual, but the setting was communal. The point that is being made is, that in choosing to use this word, pariter, when he could have used other words,  we may well wonder if Benedict was thinking of the power of the Spirit at work in a company of believers. This reminds us that for Benedict it is the faith dimension, common values, the power of the Spirit that will keep a group bound together.

The second scripture text is the description of the early Christian community which has often been used to describe the model and goal of religious life. All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the good will of all the people (Acts 2:44-47).  The being together, the holding all things in common, the sharing in the “breaking of the bread” - the beginnings of Eucharist, the concern for others, are all marks of how Benedict sees his Christian community, and maybe again he chose this word to describe what he hoped for in his communities that were trying to make a life together.

So how are these ideas reflected in the texts from the Rule where the two words are used? I will first look briefly at some of the texts and then later draw out some of the implications. To begin with pariter, together. This word is used four times and in some very significant contexts. The first time has to do with prayer. When speaking of communal prayer Benedict says that at the end ofcommunity prayerall should rise together.  The rising together applies to the way our outward ritual actions are a reflection of the fact that we are together in prayer at a deep level. For many of us here this will not apply to the recitation of the liturgy of the hours, but the same thing can apply to our participation in any liturgical ceremony – Eucharist or common worship. Our outward actions reflect our inner dispositions.

The being together in prayer is also used in Chapter 53 where guests are welcomed to the monastery. It seems as if prayer is the driving force behind our ability to be open to others and to the world. Primacy is given to the place of prayer in our being joined together. So as soon as a guest is announced, the superior or the brothers should hurry to meet him with every mark of love. First they should pray together and then be united in peace (RB 53.3-4). This can surely apply to all of us every time we are open to see and meet the needs of others. Unity and peace are the marks of how this is to be done, and it can best be done when we all show through prayer that we are totally dependent on the grace of God. Then we can, with the support of God and one another, go out together to others in hospitality and welcome.

Another text (RB 49.3) describes what our actions should be during Lent – or in fact probably in our whole lives of turning to God. Benedict states clearly that these efforts are not individual ones, but there is a communal effort – perhaps something like the Church asks of us in Project Compassion. We may do things individually but a common effort is asked of us. All should work together at effacing during this holy season the negligences of other times.

Towards the end of the Rule in Chapter 72 we are left in no doubt about the communal dimension of our life together as religious or as Christians or simply as part of humanity.  The whole chapter is like a hymn drawing together the basic themes about the fact that our Christian life of respect for the other, love of one another, the bearing of one another’s burdens, is never an individual thing. One commentator (Kardong p 597) uses a striking image of our life together not being a static refuge. He says that as we live this life, we are like a column of Christians walking together on the road to God and everlasting life. Christ is not leading each person individually to everlasting life, but rather he is leading us all together so that no one may be lost. There is a tremendous sense of the solidarity of all humanity on this journey. Let them prefer absolutely nothing to Christ and may he, (Christ) lead us all together to everlasting life ( RB 72.11-12).

And now the second small word with a big meaning in our lives together. If we are trying to live together we have to have concern for one another, and this is described in another often used word in the Rule. As I said the Latin word is invicem and it means one another, a living in mutual respect and concern so that we are really together – one in mind and heart. It describes the strong mutuality needed in our life together. Benedict uses this word nine times in the Rule. The first two texts again relate to our prayer. In Chapter 22 there is a sense that when the monks are called to prayer, they should be so eager that they even compete with one another to get there.  The first speaks of our readiness and eagerness for prayer. And so the monks will always be on the ready to rise without delay at the signal. They should hasten to beat one another to the work of God (RB 22.6). And later in the same chapter there is a very poignant and human image of the monks encouraging one another towards that prayer.  Moreover when they rise for the work of God, they should gently encourage each other to offset the excuses of the drowsy (RB 22.8).  This image speaks so much of love and concern and understanding.

Two other uses of the word have to do with our service of one another in community. In Chapter 35 on the kitchen servers Benedict opens the chapter with the direct statement the brothers should serve one another (RB 35.1). Then after describing the reasons why some of the brothers may be exempt because of other obligations, he repeats the idea and adds two very significant words.  The others should serve one another in love (RB 35.6).  So we are reminded not only that in our life together we are to serve one another, but that our service is to be done out of love.

Other texts centre around respect for one another, obedience towards one another, honour for one another. One text quotes from St Paul to the Romans, They should try to be the first to show respect to the other (Rom 12.10; RB 65.17). The context of Benedict’s use of this is interesting. He is here speaking of how the younger in the way of life should give respect to those who have gained the wisdom of years.  This seems very applicable to me to this world where the aged are often treated with disrespect. But in Chapter 72, this respect for others is broadened to all. Let them strive to be the first to honour one another (RB72.4).

In religious life we often use the term mutual obedience. This simply means that we listen to one another and sometimes we need to give way to another, as must so often happen in our family or working life.  The title of Chapter 71 is That They Obey One Another.  In the body of this chapter we are reminded that it is this path of respect for the other, mutuality, listening to the other, that is the way by which we go to God. The blessing of obedience is not only something that everyone ought to show the abbot, but the brothers should obey one another. They know they will go to God by this path of obedience (RB 71.1-2).

So it is clear from Benedict’s use of these words that the marks of our being together are those of respect, prayer, service, listening, being of one mind and heart on the journey, concern and love for one another.

Part 2

I now want to draw out further, the implications of some of the attitudes that have already been mentioned, as they are relevant to our life together lived in mutuality.

Service

In the Prologue to the Rule, Benedict states clearly that he is establishing a school for the Lord’s service. So in living out our discipleship we are both serving the Lord and learning to serve Him. We have undertaken a holy service, he says. The motive is love (RB 35) and respect for those we serve (RB 36) and the model is the great gospel act of the washing of the feet. In one way or another, in whatever life we live, this is what we are called to do. Remember the gospel which we will read and enact on Holy Thursday.  Jesus…got up from table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him (Jn 13:4-6). And you remember when Peter thought he could not let Jesus wash his feet, Jesus said, Unless I wash you, you have no share with me (Jn 13:8).  So we need both to serve and be served. And there is the unequivocal injunction for all followers of Christ.  So if I, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you (Jn 13: 14-15).  And again, If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them (Jn 13: 17).

Benedict describes this enactment of the washing of the feet in two very significant places. One is at the table where the kitchen servers wash the feet of all at the beginning and at the end of their week of service. This surely is a symbol of the attitude of service that the brothers are to bring to their task, and at the end of their week it expresses sorrow for any shortcomings in what they have done. For Benedict the table is a very central symbol of community and so he gives it much attention. I am very mindful for example of the various ways that parents and family members and colleagues in the work place live out the meaning of the washing of the feet. So much of what they do is done with complete self-forgetfulness and service of others.

The second time Benedict mentions the washing of the feet is when he means it to symbolize the welcome, hospitality and service towards those who come to the monastery as guests. The community is reminded that all guests who come are to be received as Christ; in fact the monks are to bow their heads or even completely prostrate themselves before the guest, adoring Christ in them. Then the abbot as well as the whole congregation should wash the feet of all guests (RB 53.13). A practical expression of the symbolic meaning of this welcome is given in the provision of special arrangements for food, (those who can fulfill the task well are assigned to the kitchen); bedding, (there are always a sufficient number of beds made up), and a wise person is assigned to manage arrangements. The abbot may even break his fast on behalf of the guests.

Other specific areas of service are mentioned in the Rule, especially in the description of those who hold special roles in the community. The Porter who is really the interface of the community with the world, is always to be there when the guests come. As soon as anyone knocks or a poor person cries out he should respond ‘Thanks be to God,’ or ‘Bless me.’ Filled with gentleness of the fear of God he must quickly respond with the warmth of love (RB 66.3-4). I have a friend in Germany, the abbess of a women’s community and she said to me once that she loved doing the work of the porter when it was her turn.  She said she loves opening the door without knowing who is asking or knocking. That is the kind of practical service in love that Benedict asks of us.

The sick are to be served in a special way because it is Christ who is being served in them. The sick are to be cared for before and above all else, for it is really Christ who is served in them (RB 36.1). But in a wonderful expression of mutuality, the sick are also reminded that they are to keep in mind that they are being served out of respect for God, so they are not to make undue demands. They are to be cared for by a brother who is God-fearing, devoted and careful (RB36.7).

The cellarer who cares for the goods of the monastery is another example of service in love. He is to be wise, mature and disciplined and like a father to the whole community. He takes care of everything, he is to lavish great care on the sick, the children, the guests and the poor, and if he cannot provide what is asked for he should at least return a friendly word. Ultimately his service is such that no one will be upset or vexed in the house of God (RB 31. 1, 3, 9, 14, 19).

There are many other practical examples and recommendations about how we are to serve. Things such as awareness of the needs of one another at table to such an extent that one does not even have to ask for anything (RB 38.6); our common service of God in Lent (RB 49.5); in prayer (RB 16; 18.24) and our care not to disturb others who are at prayer (RB 52).  There is also the strong injunction about mutual respect in relationship between the older and the younger members – Respect the seniors, Love the juniors (RB 4. 70-71). And even further, all juniors are to obey their seniors with every mark of loving attention (RB 71.3). As I mentioned before, this mutual respect is set in the context of the saying of Paul, They should each try to be the first to show respect to the other (Rom 12:10. RB 63.17).

 Reconciliation

In this world of ours, in our families, our work places, our relationships, our communities, we are in fact not always bound together in love and mutual service and care for one another. Again, on the day of the apology in Parliament, Tom Calma, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Social Justice Commissioner, commented that it is easier to divide than to unite. This can be so true in our life together. Paul Keating spoke of black threads and golden threads and that we have to look for the golden threads that unite. So true.  Benedict knew about this too, and I believe he has some sound wisdom for these situations of ours, based on his own experience.  In Chapter 4, The Tools for Good Works, he mentions many of the faults and sins that so divide even the best of our families, communities, parishes, work places. He mentions anger, desire for vengeance, deceit, false peace, returning evil for evil, murmuring, hatred, jealousy.  Then in Chapter 23 he lists defiance, disobedience, arrogance, unwillingness to listen. It is a powerful list of sins, and many of us would know about them first hand. But Benedict does more than name the faults that strike at our life together. He proposes a way of dealing with them and bringing about forgiveness and reconciliation.

I wonder how many times I have told the story of David Armstrong, and many of you will have heard it. But I tell it again because it illustrates in recent times some of the things that Benedict is saying. He was a Protestant minister in Northern Ireland in the worst of the times of religious divisions. He attempted to make a connection with the Catholics in the church across the road, and for this he was brought to task by the elders of his own church. In the end he had to leave the town. When commenting on this he made this statement which is so true: A community that has nothing to say about reconciliation has nothing to say. This can apply to all of us in whatever community or family we work or live. A family, a school, a parish, a work place, a government that has nothing to say about reconciliation has nothing to say.

And how does Benedict suggest we deal with our sinfulness and divisions. He notes first of all that faults and things that divide a community need to be checked. He proposes serious measures to bring the offender to a realization of what he has done and to make him seek reconciliation. The chapters that describe this, Chapters 23-30, can seem very harsh to us, and many of the points would not be applicable to us today. Offenders are excluded from the community, in that they cannot participate in the common table and the common prayer when the offence is serious. They are given warnings before this final event takes place. This exclusion happens in order to give the offender time to reflect on what he has done and to repent. So the piece of wisdom here, is that in order to be forgiven and to be reconciled, we must first acknowledge what we have done in all honesty.

Because failures do not affect only the individual but also the community, Benedict ensures that efforts are maintained to show the excluded person that the community cares about him. The abbot is to exercise all care and solicitude for the person, and if it is not appropriate for him to be the one to comfort him, he is to send wise brothers to comfort him lest he be devoured by too much sorrow (RB27.3). Love for him is to be reaffirmed, and all are to pray for him (RB 27.4). The one excluded is always called brother. The abbot is to be like the good shepherd, doing everything to bring the lost one back to the flock (RB 27.8). We can never give up on a family member, a community member, a colleague, until we have done everything possible to try to bring about reconciliation. However, Benedict also acknowledges, sadly, that there are some times when every effort does not bring this about.

There is also great wisdom in Benedict’s description of the reuniting with the community as reconciliation takes place. Benedict knows that sometimes it takes time for the person to rejoin the life from which he has been excluded (or excluded himself). In the Rule there is a gradual ritual reaggregation until all are completely together again (RB 44).

Benedict also has something to say about the forgiveness process which I believe must precede every effort at reconciliation. He emphasizes gospel teaching of forgiveness.  Our word of peace is never to be just a hollow greeting, and we are never to turn away when someone needs our love (RB 4.25-26). We are to love our enemies, not repay one bad turn with another, we are not to injure anyone and we must bear injuries patiently (RB 4.29-31). We are to support with greatest patience one another’s weaknesses of body or behaviour (RB 72.5). All of this behaviour is only possible if we have a heart ready to forgive. Christ’s teaching is unequivocal. In response to Peter’s question about how many times must we forgive – is it seven, he says – Jesus says: Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy- seven times (Matt 18:21-22).  That is over and over and over.

We are reminded in the words of St Paul that If you have a quarrel with someone, make peace before sundown (RB 4.72).  We may not be able to do this literally, but we know how much easier it is if we can. However Benedict, ever the realist, knows that sometimes forgiveness is very difficult especially in the case of deep hurt. Then what we must do is pray for our enemies in the love of Christ. It is in and through the help of Christ that we can find it in our hearts to forgive. And the last tool in this chapter 4, The Tools for Good Works, which is really simply gospel teaching, is this.  We are never to despair of God’s mercy (RB 4.72-74). Sometimes, only God can help us to forgive, just as it is God who will always forgive us.

As you can see in relation to this very important aspect of our lives, Benedict has much wise advice to offer us. A character in David Malouf’s novel, Conversations at Curlow Creek, asked his guard the night before his execution: ‘Do you think there is such a thingas forgiveness?’  In our day we have to be like the guard who replied, ‘If I were God, Iwould forgive, because I could not find it in my heart to do otherwise.’  This is so that we may be really one, as we try to live and work together.

 

Authority and Leadership.

A third implication that is important for us all in our life together is the way we exercise leadership or authority. We have been talking about the fact that all humankind, in one way or another, are called into a life of service of others, mutuality and efforts to be of one mind and heart. Concern for others and desire for community seem to be part of what it means to be fully human. Benedict makes it clear that these are indeed characteristics of all who follow his teaching.  He also makes it clear that those who hold any position of authority in the community are called explicitly to this service, and are also called to enable those they lead to live this way. They have a special responsibility for this. He gives great emphasis to those who have special roles in the community and in particular to the abbot.

I like to use the word authority when I speak about this, because I would like to reclaim the word. In our world of individualism and independence it is sometimes difficult for people to think in terms of any authority. The word also has connotations, for some, of authoritarianism because of abuses in the exercise of authority that have happened. Of course the root of the word is the Latin word auctor which means author or promoter, or augere which means to cause to grow, to increase, and to enrich. So if we understood the real meaning of the word, perhaps we would have no trouble with it. However we often now use the word leadership and that can certainly apply to us all. In one way or another, in whatever we do, or however we live, we all can and do exercise leadership.

I believe Benedict’s teaching can apply to anyone in a position of authority or leadership and to all of us as we exercise leadership in our lives.

The first point I will make recalls some of the points I made under the idea of service. This is strong gospel teaching. Jesus, the Son of God, washed the feet of the disciples in a powerful act of humility and service. And he told us to do likewise. When James and John were arguing over who would have a high place in the kingdom, Jesus said plainly:
You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mt 20: 25-28).

Remember the gospel text on the washing of the feet in John’s gospel which I have already quoted, If I your Lord and Master have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. In Chapter 63 of the Rule, I think the language Benedict uses, echoes this text, But the abbot, because we believe that he holds the place of Christ, is to be called “lord” and “abbot” not for any claim of his own, but out of honour and love for Christ. He for his part must reflect on this, and in his behaviour show himself worthy of such honour (RB 63.13). I believe he is saying that the titles, lord and master, or lord and abbot, simply bring with them the obligation of service.

We have been speaking of how we live in community, but the community or staff or family or parish is made up of individuals and Benedict’s concern for the individual is striking. However I think we need never put the claims of the individual in opposition to the needs of the community. The community is not the sum total of individuals; it is their relationships with each other which constitute it. If the individual is cared for and valued, is able to exercise generosity of spirit and put the needs of others before his/her own, then this must result in a healthy community.

The abbot is to be aware that there are weak and strong in the community but all are of worth – the refractory, the lost, the sick, the young, and the elderly. He is always to put mercy above judgment, he knows that individual needs are different; he is not to drive the flock too hard (RB 2 & 64).  In a wonderful piece of advice, Benedict tells the abbot to arrange everything so that the strong are challenged and the feeble are not overwhelmed (RB 64.19). This must be one of the hardest things to put into practice, but it shows concern for each one. In any institution there will always be the weak and the strong. And sometimes the strong are weak and vice versa. It is not easy to live and work together. I remember reading once, that a former abbot of Ampleforth, an English Benedictine community,  often used to say to his community, ‘ Remember, Fathers that when you die, someone will be relieved.’ 

The fact that a leader cannot do whatever he wishes, is reflected in how the abbot is described. The abbot is never to disturb the flock entrusted to him nor make any unjust arrangements as though he had power to do whatever he wished (RB 63.3). Many times he is reminded that his special care is to make Christ present in the community and he is also often reminded that he is very accountable for his actions (RB 2). It is his responsibility not just to express a vision for those he leads, but to translate vision into reality. But this is not to be done in isolation from the rest of the community, but in conjunction with it.

Sometimes we think that decision making processes based on involvement of those affected, and broad consultation, were discovered in the 20th Century. However Benedict already did this in the 6th Century.  I think some of the best wisdom he has to offer, centres on how he tells us authority or leadership can be exercised. Benedict often used large sections of previous rules as he wrote his own, but chapter 3 which is called On Calling the Brothers for Counsel, is his own composition, so he really believed in it and saw it as important to set down the process. What is described is more than merely involving all in the decision; it is a search for real wisdom based on faith. It comes from the genuine belief that the Spirit is present in each one and that each person has something to offer.   As often as important questions have to be dealt with in the monastery, the abbot should convene the whole community and himself tell them what is involved (RB 3.1).  Benedict also claims that it is very important to hear the advice of the younger members, since God often speaks through them. However, all should express their opinions humbly. Then, using very strong words, the chapter goes on to describe the way the abbot must listen to the advice, really ponder it, and then after careful discernment, make the decision. It is not the majority decision, and it is not consensus.  Finally, all are to obey what is seen to be for the good of the community, and what has been decided after genuine listening and careful pondering. All has been done with foresight and justice. Less important decisions can be made by ‘the seniors’ without taking advice from everyone. Deep wisdom which comes from a prayerful life is necessary for all, in this very important aspect of our lives.  

 

Conclusion

So to sum up, I believe that the art or grace of living together is the result of the power of the Spirit in each one as described in the passages from Acts that I mentioned at the beginning. Listen to the texts again. They are about life together, being together, living by the Spirit, and living for one another.

When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit, and began to speak in other languages as the Spirit gave them ability (Acts 2: 1-4).

All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the good will of all the people (Acts 2: 44).

And as we end, there is an encouraging text from Augustine to send us on our way. He knew about ‘together’ and ‘one another’:

I am now going to put down that book ( finish this talk!) You are going to go away, each one of you to his/her own home. To have been together in the same light has been good. To have been glad together has been good. To have rejoiced together has been good. But when we part from one another, let us not part from God. (Augustine on John’s Gospel). Back to top